Daryl's Day Off
by Aergias
Summary: Daryl Dixon just wanted one day off and this is what he got. Honestly, this is just something I do instead of taking notes in class.
1. Chapter 1- Daryl gets what Daryl Wants

It was an average day. Daryl Dixon didn't know what day it was exactly, but it was a day. A day of the week. A week of the day of the week. He had the hunch it way Hump Day. But since he lost track of the days months ago, he couldn't be so sure. Oh well, it didn't matter now. Daryl had much more important things to care about. Like the freaking apocalypse? No, Daryl was not worried about that today. Today was Daryl's day off. Them darn walkers weren't going to mess with him today.

Daryl was walking along when he heard a sound. "2spooky4me!" The man thought to himself because he was way too cool to say out loud. He hid himself behind a lamppost because he knew it worked like it did in all those cartoons he use to marathon with his brother. If only his brother could see him now...sniffle. He'd be so proud!

Daryl watched as someone, a white haired haired teenager, walked past him completely unknowing of his existence. Haha! It worked! But Daryl was kind of sad he wasn't noticed. Oh well, today wasn't the day for that.

….Never mind. The white haired kid noticed him. Darnit, Dixon.

"Konnichiwa-wah! I'm Allen Walker, nyaaa~ I've been looking for you everywhere Daryl senpai!"

Sweet baby Suicune. This kid was a weeabo. What kid has white hair anyway? Ughhh. Daryl took out his crossbow and locked site on Allen and fired at him.

"Yer not messin' wit' mah day off!" Why Daryl has the accent, I don't know. It sounded cooler in my head.

"Think again, Daryl-san senpai desu!"

There was a flash of light and the sound of something hitting metal. The light faded and there was a girl standing guard in front of Walker. The arrow Daryl had fired was stuck in her head.

"Thanks, Tio-chan, nya!" Allen thanked the purple haired girl, who then bowed to him and looked over to the brunette man holding the crossbow. Daryl felt a shiver down his spine. There was something about this girl who stared at him with a blank, emotionless stare; the arrow just sitting in her head all chill like. Daryl even thought he heard it whisper to him. What in tarnation?

"Yes, Allen senpai…." The girl spoke in a monotone voice.

"What do ya want wit meh!" Dixon shouted at the duo.

"It's simple, Daryl san senpai. We were sent here by Lord Helix to bring you back to Jesus Mami senpai san." Allen answered back, skipping up to the man and throwing an arm around his shoulder.

"And we won't take no for an answer, Daryl san. We must report to Mami ASAP." Tio grabbed the two with her cold, animatronic hands, dragging them with her to the Millennium Falcon were they met up with another older teenager whose name was apparently Gold. He was the captain of the space marines and the owner of the ship. How this boy got the ship was beyond Daryl's imagination, but apparently won it gambling. Kids these days.

Daryl never thought he'd end up on a ship with three creepy teenagers. What's worse is he could have sworn Tio wasn't human. She still had the whispering arrow lodged into her noggin. Noggin...nog...Egg nog! His nose picked up the scent of eggnog! He hadn't had eggnog for years. It brought back memories of a Christmas Day when he and his brother Merrill gathered around the burning orphanage of their nemesis. They roasted live mice and drank eggnog they stole from their father. What rebels they were back then. Daryl shook off the memory and snapped back to reality. Oh, there goes gravity!

The Millennium Falcon took off and Daryl hit his head against a wall, passing out. When he woke up he was in a comfy futon with a tiny blonde girl who appeared to be working on something. That's when Daryl realized his head was no longer apart of his body. Daryl had gotten ahead of himself. The girl turned around and smirked, whipping some oil off her face. "I see you're awake, Daryl dawg."

"Where is my body!? What is happening!?"

"Your body is...erm...unacceptable for your mission. We have made a few modifications to your new body and you should be up and running any minute now, yo! Don't worry, D-dawg. You wont miss the old one at all!"

"WHAT?!" Daryl just wanted to have a peaceful day off to himself, maybe eat a few squirrels and admire himself. HE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS!

Ding!

"Speak of the dome! It's done!" The blonde got up and pulled a body from a steaming capsule. Daryl couldn't believe his pretty blue eyes.

"YOU'RE GIVIN MEH A GIRLS BODY?!"

"Yeah! Our last savior Mami-san senpai san dawg gave us her decapitated body as a gift! Said it'd help us SAVE DA WORLD! WHABAM SHIZZLE WHIZZLE!"

He groaned. Everyone here is crazy. And children. "Kill me now."

"Neva!" She picked up Daryl's head and placed it on the body. They magically combined together! Shaplam! Daryl had the body of Tomoe Mami-san senpai desu Jesus. Honestly, when he checked himself out in the mirror he found himself winking at his reflection. Wow, he made one attractive woman. Zoowee momma!

"That's the power of pinesol, D-dawg." She winked and walked into a closet. Daryl waited, but omg she wasn't coming out. He flung the door open and she was gone.

"Master~~~~~~~~~~!"

Oh great god Granas. Another one.

Daryl was tackled to the ground by a tall ginger. He couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl...what in the world is this thing?

"WHAT IS HAPPENING?" Daryl cries. This was not a good day off at all.

"Master Daryl san senpai chan! You are the chosen one~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~! YOU were chosen by Mami Jesus san senpai to save the WORLD. I'm your royal pet monkey GRELL~~~~~~~!"

What.

The.

Heck.

"I just want to go home!" Daryl cries more like a little baby which was extremely out of character for him. Suddenly, he was picked up by this...thing and brought into a different room where everyone on the ship had gathered. How did he know everyone was there? Well, the captain was yelling for everyone to come in which would have been just plain rude if they didn't show up.

They all bowed to Daryl when he entered. His servant thing set him down and pat his hair. "All hail Daryl senpai san chan!"

Daryl once dreamed of having an army of his own. Just not one made up of mainly idiotic children! After examining the group, he found there were six people on the ship he has yet met. There was a girl in the corner with black hair...she was, erm...rocking back and forth muttering to herself...A freckled brunette sharpening a knife and sitting on top of red haired girl with curled twin tails eating bread...Makoto from animu School Days….A pink haired chick with huge eyes….and Criss Angel the Mindfreak.

What an interesting group.

Luckily for Daryl, everyone was wearing name tags. Tomoko, Ymir, Teto, Makoto, Perona, and Criss Angel the Mindfreak. Oh, and then we had the ones Daryl already met: Tio, Allen, and Gold. Thought I might need to remind you.

Daryl sighed, looking back and forth between the crowd. He's much rather be torn apart by walkers than been seen with these guys, but he really had no choice now, did he? Well, at least the pink haired one was kind of hot. Not that it mattered much anymore, anyway. He was stuck with the body of a teenage girl and last time he checked girls don't dig that.

...Do they?

Never mind that. He had to find out what was going on. Daryl opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a knife flying at him and nearly taking his left ear straight off!

"Lol. Made you flinch." The freckled brunette Ymir laughs like a sheep getting tickled with a feather duster and gives the ginger under her a noogie.

"B-bakaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa desu." Teto cries like a whale that just got harpooned.

"What is happenin'!? And where is that girl that did this to me?! Where is mah body!?" Daryl choked out, getting a look from the group that said. 'You gotta be kitten me right meow….nya.'

"When we were examining you while you were out cold we found many things, senpai Daryl san baka. We found you have schizophrenia and type six diabetes, but Criss Angel the Mindfreak told us you're the CHOSEN ONE." Makoto said before getting knocked out with a brick.

"SHUT UP, MAKOTO." Everyone said because ew, Makoto.

Criss Angel the Mindfreak stepped forward and wrapped a comforting arm around Daryl Dixon's shoulder. Daryl then realized he was in love with Criss Angel the Mindfreak. You could say he was freaking with Daryl's mind.

"Daryl, you are the chosen one."

"The chosen one?! But I'm just Daryl!"

"No, just Daryl. You are the chosen one."

"But I'm just Daryl!"

"No, just Daryl. You are the chosen one!"

"The chosen one?! But I'm just Daryl!"

"Listen, just Daryl! You're going to accept your fate already because YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE!"

"Ugh… but today is my day off."

"Daryl, you've been out cold for three days."

"Shh...did you hear that?"

"No?"

"That's the sound of me not giving a care."

"Oh."


	2. Chapter 2- Tuesday on Sunday

That's right. It was Tuesday, but only in Daryl's mind. In reality, it was Sunday.

But, that's not what matters right now. An enemy ship was approaching the Millenium Falcon. How can we be so sure it is an enemy ship? Well, it says "Enemy Ship" right on the side of it- so it would just be uncultured if it wasn't an enemy ship. Also, that's lying, and lying is bad.

"Things are about to get stinky." Genghis Swan states, being handed a New York Yankees baseball cap by his hot girlfriend- Pewdiepie Chase. That's right. Pewdiepie was Annabeth all along.

"Go get em, hunny."

"k."

Genghis Swan jumped from his spacecraft- bursting through the Millenium Falcon's windshield. Normally, if that would happen everyone's head would go boom, but this is my story and I can do what I want to.

"Oh no." Makoto says before being beheaded.

"Looks like he got...ahead of himself." Ymir snorted, taking out this awesome dual bladed dual disk. It was like a dual disk, but it was dual bladed. How is a dual disk dual bladed? It was commissioned.

It was only Ymir and Genghis Swan- everyone else was in their cabin sleeping.

"What are you going to do, hun?" Genghis Swan asked her sassily putting his hands on his hips.

"It's TIME TO D-D-DUAL!" Ymir puts a Pokeman card on the dual disk and summons Agumon to the field.

Genghis Swan uses Taijutsu to bring forth Naruto the rabid dog with rabies and Aang the Avatar.

"Did you just summon two monsters?" Ymir asks.

"Yes."

"But that's against the rules!"

"Screw the rules! I like internet memes!" Genghis Swan shoots a laser at Ymir and Aguman, making the whole room light up. Ymir screeches and falls to the floor. She was dead.

"Bwhahahaha!" The evil Genghis Swan laughs like Mojojojo on pure oxygen, walking towards the cabins. Little did he know the little crazy blonde from before was following behind him with an explosive teddy bear. She puts the teddy bear in Genghis Swan's back pocket without him even batting an eye.

"Pop goes the weasle!" She pushes a button on a remote and Genghis Swan explodes into confetti. "Teaches you to mess with my crew, Genghis Swan, dummy doo doo face! That's wack!"

Criss Angel the Mindfreak walked out from his cabin and looked at the blonde, freakish girl. "Tina, what are you doing here? I thought you left to become a brain surgeon."

"Someone was messing with my crew, so I came back, yo." Tiny Tina replied, looking at the pile of rainbow confetti that was her feet. Suddenly, a mysterous wind came in through the ships window, picking up the remains of Genghis Swan and taking it back outside.

She had allowed Aang and Naruto to escape.

"Clem! Bring me back!" Tiny T, short for Tiny Tina, shouts to the air before being teleported away.

"Wow." Said Criss Angel the Mindfreak before he went back to his cabin to catch some zzz's.

So what happened to Genghis Swan's confetti ashes? I'll tell you.

Pewdiepie Chase sat in his chair, putting on his makeup and beautiful blonde wig. He was so disappointed that nobody had figured out his little secret yet. How could the bro army not figure out that Pewdiepie was indeed Annabeth Chase? He made it so blantly obvious.

"Mr. Chair, why don't they notice?"

"Pewdie, I am a chair."

Pewdiepie sighs. "Guess nobody will know."

Just then Aang the Avatar and his rabid dog burst through the window on an airball with Genghis Swan's ashes in it. "Huehueahaaha! UGH." He runs into a wall.

"What!? No, it cant be!" Pewds cries.

"Bark bark."

"Shut up, Narutard. You're ruining the moment."

"Wooff…"

Pews runs up to Aang's airball and hugs it, crying tears love- bringing Genghis Swan back to life! Or did he?

There was a bright light. The smell of urine filled the room. "Cats, cats, cats, cats, cats...back in the day, it's like cats, cats, cats-"

"No way…" Narutard muttered. "I mean bark."

There in Pewds arms was Jimmy Urine himself.

"Genghis Swan? What happened to you!?" Pewds Chase cried out so loud, it broke one of the ships windows.

"Yo, yo, yo, word. I'm just that stupid jeeeeeeerk." Jimmy sang in response, jumping up and doing a stupid little dance.

"Jimmy...Jimmy, it's you!" Pewds gets up and hugs Jimmy Urine, having an epic bromance moment.

"I hate Jimmy Page." He replies back, still singing. It seems he could only reply back with his own song lyrics. This could be a problem using appropriate lyrics.

"Jimmy Page?! Oh no, is he back? B-but it's been sixty four thousand years! I thought he was gone forever." Aang gasps. "This must be why Jimmy Urine reappeared to seek his-"

"THIS. IS. MY. REVENGE!"

"Jimmy, calm down."

"Bark."

"If you're so smart, explain this Clarissa! Bllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaam!"

"Jimmy, omg."

Meanwhile, back on the Millenium Falcon….

Daryl was fast asleep again. He could sleep his whole life away- and he would at this rate. Criss Angel the Mindfreak watched Daryl as he slept. He was like Edward Cullen or whatever, so it's romantic.

Tomoko stumbled upon the head and dead body of Makoto and Ymir. She picked them up and consumed them, getting big muscles and stuff. "Unf agu."

Tomoko's hair whispered to her. "There's an intruder."

"Oh okay" Said Tomoko to her hair.

Tomoko went to cabin 1 where Perona and Teto were staying. She killed them in their sleep with the Granasaber she stole from Gandalf. Their screams pleased her.

Tomoko was the intruder.

She gasps and her hair consumed her whole.

Just another head count, we have Allen, Tio, Daryl, Gold, and Criss Angel the Mindfreak. Everyone else is dead.

Oh, and the hobo living under Criss Angel's bed. Who is the hobo? Find out next episode!


	3. Chapter 3- Tim Tim vs Jimmy Urine

A dark figure crawls out from under the bed. Whom owned this figure Criss Angel could only guess. So, being the kind person Criss Angel the Mindfreak was, he asked the dark figure. "A-a-a-a-are you the boogie man?"

"Oh, I'm a boogie kind of man." The figure snapped his fingers and a giant disco ball came down from the ceiling, illuminating the dark room with it's retroness. Criss Angel gasped.

It was Tim Tim Time Man.

"Tim Tim Time Man…" The mindfreak muttered, eyes wide and gleaming with eternal bliss. "It's you!"

"Calm down, Paula Deen. I've come to ask you a favor." Tim put a finger to Criss's lips, making a hushing noise.

"What is it, Timmy boy?" He replied.

"Do you smell...what I smell?"

Criss takes a deep breath in, taking the smell of urine into his nostrils leaving only word word in his mind. "Jimmy."

There was a loud boom.

"JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, CAN'T YOU SEE? SOMETIMES YOUR WORDS JUST HYPNOTISE ME…"

It was Jimmy Urine. He must have gotten bored aboard Pewdie's ship and decided to give a private show.

Wow. How lucky our two heroes are to get their own show by Jimmy Urine. I, as the narrator am very jealous.

"To all da ladies in da place with style and grace…" Jimmy sang.

It was a very beautiful moment. Well, until Tim Tim Time man ruined it by throwing a cabbage at Jimmy- making the mohawked man yip like a ugly little poodle stubbing it's toe against a giant rock. "Boooooooooooooooooooo! Get out of me ship!"

"Aww…" Jimmy sighed before realizing who he was. He was Jimmy Urine. He could do what he wants, when he wants. Nuff said.

Striking a very high note on his guitar, Jimmy broke another window in the Millenium Falcon's window. How aren't they dying you may still be asking? Well, I just don't care anymore. Anyway, Jimmy broke a window after playing a note, but it wasn't the pitch of it that broke the window. See, I learned a few things in psychology. But, what did break the window was Freddy.

Freddy. Freaking. Fazbear.

"Are you READY FOR FREDDY?" Jimmy yells, flying up into the air, and playing some more notes on his guitar which seemed to be controlling the large animatronic bear.

"Oooooh, look what you did, Tim!" Shouted Criss Angel as he slapped the Time man. "You gone and might as well killed us! I'm not ready for Freddy!"

"Shhhhhh…" The time man puts his index finger on the Mindfreaks lips, hushing him yet again before doing some mad jutsu stuff with his hands. Jimmy just laughed at the duo. There was no way the likes of them could take on Freddy.

But then it hit him like a brick.

Well, not really. I just thought that would sound cool.

Jimmy froze. Literally. But it wasn't just Jimmy, Freddy froze too. And Criss Angel the Mindfreak. Tim Tim smirked. He had done this. Taking advantage of the time freeze was easy. He just threw a brick at Jimmy, making his frozen body fall to the ground. Tim then took out a permanent marker and drew on Jimmy's face before throwing him out the window, making him explode. Tim Tim then burned Freddy to a crisp, eating the animatronics leftover ashes.

You could say, not even Freddy was ready.

Tim Tim Time Man then resumed time, making Criss Angel come back to life.

Meanwhile, Daryl had just rose from his slumber. He heard MSI music coming from somewhere in the ship and had to track it down. Daryl was a huge sucker for punk rock music- as was Merel.

Oh, Merel. Them memories.

Daryl shook it off. He had to find that music.

He exited the room, walking down the hall and towards the loud, booming music; only to have it stop as he entered the room.

Tim Tim had thrown Daryl's idol out the window.

And Daryl cried.


	4. Chapter 4- Steve Leaves

Chapter Four- Steve

So, there he was- Steve. Thats right, Steve. You may know him, but if you don't, you're probably four or something. I'll tell you who he is anyway.

Steve is a pop legend. A god amongst men. He gave us something that'll touch us young people's lives until the day we take our last breath. He gave us...Blue's Clues.

Yes, it was that Steve and he sure wasn't visiting his granny like he said he was. He was in space riding a sparrow. No, not a bird sparrow, one of those super fast bike things. That's right. Steve was a Warlock- level thirty two. He was the coolest cat in the coop in this neck of the woods.

Now you're probably asking...why is Steve not doing Blue's Clues and doing this? Well, Steve has a destiny. That destiny was to take down Kim K. and rid the world of its darkness, so he rode and found himself at a small cave on the moon. He was sure he'd find the evil, dark woman we knew as Kim Kardashian.

Inside, he summoned his shinigami Joe to illuminate the cave so he could inspect what may lie inside...What he found was beyond young Steve's imagination. It was Jimmy Urine, passed out in a pile of space food.

"Sweet baby Jesus…" Steve picked up the pop star, whispering into his ear. "Wake up, sweet princess…"

"Wha…" Jimmy woke up, suddenly confused about everything. He had bumped his head on a space rock when he fell to the moon, so he lost his memory. "Where am I…? W-who are you?"

"Steve, but that's not important. Who are you?"

"I-I don't know…"

"Hmm…" Steve thought in silence for a few seconds and smiled. "Alright, kiddo. Follow me."

Jimmy got on Steve's sparrow after Steve sent Joe back to the deps he came from. They then took off and went back to a small cabin next to the old, run down, space center. Steve invited Jimmy inside and feed him some bread and space marshmallows. "Thanks, dad." Jimmy said.

"You're welcome, son." Steve pats Jimmy's head and leaves him to eat. He went to watch some Jag and eat pringles.

It was two months on the moon they lived together...until one day, Jimmy killed Steve. He remembered everything now. He knew who Steve was and what he did to his real father.

"You killed my pet hamster and tickled my dad's nose with a feather duster!"

"No, Jimmy…" Steve said in his last breaths. "I did kill your hamster, but...I AM your father.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


End file.
